Grandmama on a swing

Image by Frank Kehren via FlickrWhen I was a child, the first traumatic loss I remember having was when my grandmother passed away. The world was almost surreal as I saw adults sobbing, and in utter despair, adults that I never saw crying, were crying. At her wake I remember gazing down on this person that was supposed to be my grandmother, and feeling like this person could not have been my grandmother. You sense the soul is departed, even as a child...I knew my grandmother was not lying in that coffin. However, I also remember being struck at how much my grandmother would have hated being stared at that way. She was an extremely modest woman, and even at my young age, I knew she would not have liked to have a wake or open casket.


I remember feeling so much guilt about how rotten I was toward her when she came to stay with us. The guilt I felt I carried for many a year thereafter. My grandmother was an unworldly person, by that I mean, she was someone that never gave in to the weaknesses of man. She never spoke ill of anyone, and that is a rare trait to see. She was a dignified, humble, modest and loving person, that did not show you love through words but through deed. A rock in my mothers life as well.

After she passed, I remember taking a walk with my friend in my neighborhood, when I happen to glance over at a glider type swing in someone's yard, and there  she was, lying in one of her outfits, (grand mama was a sharp dresser and even made her own clothes). She was lying in this swing, resting peacefully. Her distinctive white hair, white blouse, and blue vest and slacks, even her white pumps...were all confirmation this was her. The truest validation was that my friend, who knew my grandmama and saw her on occasion, also confirmed it was her. I don't think I ever told my mother about this sighting..but more importantly I received what I believe was the underlying message, grandmama was at peace, and I guess this is what I wanted to know.

For years I had recurring dreams of going to their house for Sunday dinner, and all was as it was before she passed. In my dream I was a child relieved. Grandmama was still here, she did not die, and then the crushing disappointment when I'd awaken..I feel when our loved ones pass on, they do things to reassure us, they can and do visit us in our dreams. My grandmother probably knew of my immense guilt, and probably brought reassurance through my dreams, and the sighting of her on a neighbors swing was just to let me know, that she was at peace and by her being at peace I could be at peace too.

The Premonition of Richard C. Ryder

Image via Wikipedia

Our Loved ones are never very far away, even on the other side

The Premonition

A True Story by Richard C. Ryder

When I was a little boy, my sister and brother and I used to spend a lot of time with our grandparents. They lived on the coast of South Carolina, and it was always a lot of fun visiting them. My grandmother was the sweetest person you would ever want to meet. She always took care of us and showed us great love like every grandmother should.

One particular night when my father was out working on a detective case, all of us were in bed fast asleep. I was dreaming a very bizarre dream. I was dreaming that I was in a large, white room with no windows or doors. The room was brightly lit, yet there did not seem to be any light source. In the middle of the room sat my grandmother at a white table, in a white chair. She held her face in her hands and her eyes were closed… as if she were sleeping.

I was in the room with a childhood friend of mine. We walked around the room, searching for a way out. We just walked along the walls of the room, looking for seams but could not find any. I kept looking back to my grandmother, she did not move. My friend cursed several times because we could not find a way out. I quickly looked back to my grandmother because that was one thing you did not do in front of her… curse!

I was then awakened by my mother screaming and crying from her room. All of us ran into my parent’s room to see what was going on. My mother was sitting on the bed, sobbing. As we walked into the room, my mother told us children that she had just gotten off of the telephone with our Uncle, her brother. He had told our mother that our grandmother was found in her bed and that she had passed on.

At that moment all I could do was just stand there as if I were frozen. I could not move. My sister and brother had jumped on my mother’s bed and they were holding one another, crying. I could not move a muscle for what seemed to be an eternity. I was very young, and there was no reason for a little boy who usually dreamt of being Superman to have such a strange dream. Was this paranormal or coincidence? Was this my grandmother’s way of letting me know that she was not in pain, and that she died peacefully? I would like to believe so.

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